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Dear Grumpy Horrible Boss,You suck as a lawyer. I dont even know how you passed the bar. Or how you sleep at night taking clients like Jack Whittington.Just in case you didnt know, you cant fire me just because I have a part-time job working bachelor parties. What I do on the weekend is none of your business and not a part of my employment contract. If I want to go back to wearing coconut bikinis and popping out of cakes, I can. As soon as I get my big break as an actress, I will be leaving your employ. I am literally counting down the days. You must be dreaming if you think Im going to be working from 6 am to 9 pm for the next month just so you wont report me to HR. Go ahead and report me. See if I care Mr. Wannabe hotshot playboy lawyer. Youre not that hot and I do not want you.Also, stop emailing me at night with lists of to-dos.Your not very well paid assistant,Lila HavershamLila,I hope you can count to infinity because thats how many more days youre going to be working for me.
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